The Power of Your Words: Speaking Life Over Your Children

largefamilyarrows

Aug 13

7 min read

Some of them are quick. Some are said in frustration. Some are said in passing and we don’t think much about them.

But the truth is… our words carry more weight than we sometimes realize.

In my last post, I talked about teaching our children why their words matter. This time, I want to talk to us as moms.

As moms, we say a lot of words in a day.

Because the words we speak over our children matter just as much—if not more.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones- Power of Your Words

We’ve all heard the saying:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

But if we’re honest, we know that’s just not true.

Bones can mend.

But words… words can stay with a child for years.

Sometimes even a lifetime.

I can still remember things that were said to me as a child—both good and bad. And I know I’m not the only one.

That’s why this matters so much.

Words That Stay With You

When I was a child, I had folks say negative things about me at times. And whether they meant it or not, those words had an impact.

So when I became a mom, I took that to heart.

I have listened to Christian family programs on the radio, and they helped shape my understanding of what a healthy home could look like. One thing that really stood out was how important our words are in the home.

No name-calling.
No speaking in a way that makes a child feel small.
I’ve heard people say things like, “Stop being bad.”
But instead, we can say, “That behavior isn’t okay.”
No tearing down.

There’s a difference. We’re not labeling the child—we’re correcting the behavior.

Words can have an impact on a child.

And as moms, we play a big role in that.

Kids Affirmation Coloring Pages

We Are Building or Tearing Down

I truly believe that, as moms, we are either building up our homes or slowly tearing them down.

And before you start thinking, Well, that's a pretty harsh thing to say, hear me out.

I'm not talking about being a perfect mom.

I'm talking about something much simpler—and much more important.

I'm not talking about never losing our patience, never raising our voices, or always knowing exactly what to say. If that's the standard, then none of us are going to make it!

Our words matter.

Every day, we're speaking into the lives of our children. Sometimes we're encouraging them. Sometimes we're correcting them. Sometimes we're reminding them for the hundredth time to pick up the same pair of shoes they've left in the middle of the floor.

And sometimes we're tired. Really tired. We are busy moms and where many hats.

Though sometimes our words come out differently than we wish they had.

I've had those moments, and I'm sure you have, too.

But here's the good news: one bad moment doesn't make us bad mothers. We can stop. We can apologize. We can ask our children for forgiveness. We can pray and try again.

God has given us tremendous influence in our homes, and I don't think He gave it to us so we could carry a burden of guilt. However, sometimes I have to work at that as well. I believe He wants us to become more aware of the power we have to encourage, teach, correct, and build up the little people He has entrusted to us.

Scripture says,

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21

That's a powerful verse when you stop and really think about it.

Our words can bring life.

They can remind our children that they are loved. They can give courage when they're struggling. They can help them get back up after they've failed. They can speak truth when the world is telling them something completely different.

But our words can also hurt.

And that's why I think it's worth taking a little time to look at what we're saying in our homes—not because we need to feel guilty, but because our children are listening and because our words can be so powerful, one way or another.

They are listening when we encourage them.
They're listening when we correct them.
They're listening when we're frustrated.

They're even listening to the way we talk about ourselves. (Guilty of that one as well).

So maybe today we can simply ask God to help us be more intentional with our words.

Not perfect.

Just intentional.

Because every day we have another opportunity to build.

To encourage.

To speak truth.

To show grace.

And to point our children toward Christ.

That's the kind of home I want to build.

The Importance of Speaking Life

There was a moment in my life that really showed me just how powerful words can be.

I’ve had three miscarriages. With my second one, it was especially traumatic. I hemorrhaged and had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding. It was a very scary time.

But God was faithful through it all. He took care of me.

After that, I went to see my doctor because I had concerns. I remember that he was dealing with health issues of his own at the time. He actually passed away just a few months later.

But before that, during one of my visits, he said something to me that I’ve never forgotten.

He looked at me and said,

“Wendy, you are a lot stronger than you think you are.”

Those words stayed with me.

It’s been over 17 years, and I still think about that moment.

Just one sentence.

Biblical Affirmation Cards for Kids

That’s the power of words.

How Words Shape a Child’s Identity

I saw this again in a different way when my son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

He had just turned five.

He was always a go-getter. He stood up in his crib at five months old, rode a bike without training wheels at three—probably trying to keep up with his older brother—and nothing ever seemed to slow him down.

Then suddenly, everything changed.

We had to go through training, learn about insulin, needles, and a completely new way of life.

And I remember something the nurse educators told us.

They said:

“Don’t label him as a diabetic. He is a child with diabetes.”

That stuck with me.

Because at first, you might think—what’s the difference?

But there is a difference. He wasn’t defined by his condition.

He was still that same strong, determined little boy.

The diagnosis didn’t change who he was—it just meant we had to make adjustments in how we cared for him.

And I believe our words play a big part in whether a child feels defined by their struggles… or strengthened in the middle of them.

Practical Ways to Speak Life

So what does speaking life actually look like in everyday life?

Because let's be honest, we're still moms.

Our kids are still going to make bad choices. They're going to argue, forget what we just told them, they may come into the house with muddy shoes, or somehow manage to make a bigger mess while they're supposed to be cleaning one up.

Speaking life doesn't mean we ignore wrong behavior or pretend everything is okay when it isn't. I'm also not going to say I haven't never raised my voice, if I feel like the messaged didn't go anywhere.

However, I want to be more intentional in guiding and teaching my children.

I pray to grow in that area even with grown kids.

Our children need correction. They need boundaries. They need to be taught right from wrong.

Though our conversations should literally speak life over our children. We need to bring out the best in them and show them value like God value's them.

But we can be mindful of how we correct them.

There's a big difference between saying:

“You're being bad.”

and saying:

“That was not a good choice.”

One speaks to who they are.

The other addresses what they did.

And that little shift can make a bigger difference than we realize.

We can also get into the habit of noticing the good—not just pointing out everything that needs to be fixed.

If your child is usually quick to give up, notice when they keep trying.

If they're struggling with something, remind them that you see their effort.

If they do something kind, tell them you noticed.

Sometimes our children need to hear the things we may assume they already know.

“I'm proud of you.”
“I see how hard you're trying.”
“You didn't give up.”
“You are stronger than you think.”
“I love watching you grow.”

Those words may seem small to us.

But we don't always know what our children are carrying in their hearts.

And we don't know which words they're going to remember years from now.

Maybe they'll forget the toy they wanted for Christmas.

Maybe they'll forget the dinner you made last Tuesday.

But they may remember the time Mom looked at them and said:

“I believe in you.”

That's why our words are worth paying attention to.

Not because we have to get them right every single time.

But because we have so many opportunities, every single day, to speak a little life into the hearts of our children.

A Woman That Builds Her House

The Bible says in Proverbs 14:1

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

That verse shows us how moms influence our homes.

Because building a home isn’t just about meals, schedules, or keeping things running.

It's also about the words we use.

Our words have a way of sticking with our children. They can encourage them, give them confidence, and remind them that they are loved. But if we're not careful, our words can also hurt in ways we never intended.

And believe me, I know none of us are going to get this right all the time. I certainly haven't.

There have been plenty of times when I've said something and later wished I could take it back.

But that's where God's grace comes in.

With the Lord's help, we can become more aware of our words. We can slow down, choose our words a little more carefully, and look for those everyday opportunities to encourage our children.

We can choose to speak life.

We can choose to build them up.

And we may not always see the difference those words are making right away. Sometimes the seeds we're planting won't show up for years.

But that doesn't mean they're not growing. With God's help, we can speak great things into our children, and they will change the world tomorrow by what we do today.